Resurrection.

Namaskaram.

It has been 8 long months since I last posted on here. This makes me feel sad as consistent posting on my own online space, I would do with great joy. I loved the creative process of taking photographs for my posts, sharing my opinions and thoughts with others and engaging in discussion which would always leave me feeling gratitude for having at my fingertips, the means to interact with likeminded individuals.

It seems that when life happens, it happens all at once and we can easily lose ourselves in the happenings. It began with changing my living environment which resulted in trouble adapting to and settling into a new routine. I began working at a job which I disliked very much as I felt I was not achieving my mission statement. I would rise before the sun and my workload rid me of any time for myself. I was not seeing my family or friends as much as I once did and this made me feel very isolated. I lost touch with maintaining my health and many a time, reality. Other heart wrenching issues exacerbated my state of being. I truly felt as though I had stepped foot into a completely different life and I felt very conflicted as a result. This all took a horrific toll on my spirit and mind as my dysthymia resurfaced which threw me into a relapse. I have never contemplated suicide in my life as much as I did towards the last half of 2019.

However, through consistent reminding of my worth and my purpose in this life, from myself, my family and my friends, I fought to gradually come back to a place where I could attempt to begin healing.

I worked past the guilt of rejecting my old job’s wish for me to stay on, but the act of leaving aided in regaining my sanity. I relentlessly worked on transforming my new abode into a safe space for me, mentally and physically, even though many times I would be very close to giving up on it all. I weened myself off medication I had been prescribed and switched to natural remedies. I chopped off more than half of my hair to encourage and enforce change in my life and to signify an elimination of the gruelling past. I returned to working at a job where I felt I was fulfilling the call of Spirit. I visited 4 different countries! After over a year of being a pescatarian, I made the decision to consume chicken again, with the support of my family, to regain strength after falling alarmingly sick. I graduated with my Master’s degree, marking the end of a gratifying journey I shall always cherish. I began consulting recipes and opting more for fresh, home cooked meals and to my utter surprise, am a semi good cook??? I have reached the point where I am now confident enough to cook some meals without referring to a method and try my own hand at it by eye. However, I am yet to still revel in the culinary arts. I returned to learning a new language and I also fell back into the habit of regular journaling which enables my headspace to remain light.

Wow. I truly did not realise how much I had accomplished and achieved until I listed it all whilst writing this post. I am convinced I am living on prayers because I truly cannot fathom how my little, feeble self was capable of executing and attaining all that I have whilst feeling all that I did.

I hope we all recognise the undeniable strength that dwells deep within us and utilise it when we must. Surround yourself with love, human beings that encourage you to continue living because they see how stellar you are, even if you do not see it yourself… yet. Work to give yourself some sense of purpose. Do what you love, make an uplifting difference. Taking your own life would be an insult to this universe as you are here to make a difference somewhere and somehow. You are here to love and to be loved.

I look forward to posting regularly on here once more now that the dust has somewhat settled. I hope my regular readers have been well and if you are a new reader, welcome and thank you. {:

I would like to leave you with a short saying that I hope stirs something – “do good and good will come.” – Source Unknown.

Namaste.

  1. Ateafa, as I read this I know you will inspire so many souls who goes through depression. You resurrected and man what a come back. New job, culinary skills, learning language, master’s degree. You rock. Keep inspiring and keep writing. More power to you

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