I thought I’d go into depth with this particular topic as recently, I’ve noticed a lot of people I know personally and simply know of, are struggling to attain peace of mind. This is going to be a slightly lengthy post and definitely will be different.
If you’re already happy, then great. (: I honestly hope it lasts. If not, please read on and let’s begin healing.
1. Stop comparing yourself to others.
Whether this is in terms of life, appearance, income, intelligence and so on, just stop. You are not going to get anywhere if you are too busy assessing other people and where they’re at and completely disregarding yourself. Let’s paint a picture of it. Imagine you’re in a race with say, 2 other runners. You each have your own lanes and you have to get to the finish line as quick as you can. The first one to get to the finish line wins. So the whistle blows and all 3 of you begin running. Now if you were to start looking at how fast runner 1 is going, or how runner 2 has longer legs than you, you naturally begin to lose focus of where you’re at in your own lane. You start to slow down until sometimes, you come to a complete standstill. This is because you shift attention from yourself to others which in turn results in you literally going nowhere. This can be mirrored with life. If you look at where other people are, what they are doing, how they are doing it, you aren’t allowing yourself to move forward. So stop. Slowly train your mind to completely disregard everyone else (when you have to) and start looking at yourself more. Look at where you are. Look at what you’re doing and how you’re doing it. Look at how long your own legs are. Let yourself run as fast as you can.
2. Love yourself.
This comes hand in hand with step 1. Sometimes it comes before, sometimes it comes after or it may just come together. For me, it came after. When you drop all the unnecessary and pointless attention you give to others, your thought pattern naturally focuses more on you. It becomes a case of me, me, me. What you have to understand here is that by wholly loving and focusing on yourself, it isn’t a case of being selfish or vain at all (although there isn’t anything wrong with either of those, to an extent). You are doing yourself a huge favour. So banish everyone else from your mind and begin to do things for yourself. Things that make you feel happy inside. Things that make your heart sing.
How do you love yourself?
The way I see it, when we come to love someone, we disregard all of their internal and external flaws and we simply accept them. It is as simple as that. In the same way, in order to love yourself, you have to come to terms with your flaws and faults. Coming to terms with them means you accept them. If you accept them, they’ll begin to not eat away at you. When they begin to not eat away at you, you’ll start to feel peace. When you wake up in the morning and learn to be happy with what you see in the mirror, you are accepting who you are. You can look different from others because your teeth aren’t completely straight or your tummy is slightly podgy. But different is good. There is nothing wrong with different. There is nothing wrong with you. Maybe if you looked more into your own soul and mind, maybe if you stared a little longer in the mirror, you’d come to understand that there is nothing wrong with you at all, and you just need a bit of your own love in order to nourish and grow. So do it. Celebrate your doings more. Celebrate you more. Celebrate yourself.
3. Hang out with yourself.
This can be as little as half an hour each day. But do it. You need to be by yourself at least once a day because people can be exhausting and will suffocate you. When you spend time alone, you come to learn more about yourself because your thoughts and choices aren’t influenced by anyone around you (because nobody’s there). This in the long run is mentally healthy because you come to be aware of your wants and needs, what you like and don’t like, what you want to do and don’t want to do. It also builds personal confidence and increases determination quite a bit. You’ll feel more at peace because there isn’t this constant buzz of people and their opinions (which you may disagree with) surrounding you. So you see? Spending time alone doesn’t mean you’re a weirdo at all and you really shouldn’t be afraid to do it.
4. Begin to do things you enjoy doing.
We lose focus of our interests when we stop giving ourselves the attention we need and deserve. If we’re sailing through life not doing the things we enjoy doing, we’re ultimately going to feel more crappy than happy. This is why on the journey to feeling content, you have to start doing the things you like doing, if you aren’t already. If you want to take it a step further, start doing things you’ve never done before which you find you take some sort of interest in. What is the point of living if you aren’t doing at least a few things which make you feel at ease? It’s like taking something beautiful (life) and burying it. So get in touch with yourself again. Remind yourself what you enjoy. Then start doing it. And don’t stop.
5. Forgive and move on.
If you want to move forward, it is best you do it with nothing pulling you back. No strings holding you back. These strings can come in the form of bitterness; they can be as long as silent treatments and as damaging as arguments. Let it all go. Release yourself from these negative energies that are doing nothing but having a disruptive influence on your life. Kill your ego and forgive. Apologise. Accept apologies. Stop being bitter. Think good of others. Just be good with people no matter how much they have wronged you. You will be rewarded soon in some way, I promise. By killing grudges and breaking silent treatments, you’re creating love. You’re creating happiness. And that is exactly what you need if you want to move on in peace.
6. Exercise and eat well.
Look after your body, it will thank you in so many ways and you’ll feel better. Physically and mentally. By exercising, you’re spending time on yourself and it is proven that exercise releases happy hormones (endorphins) so it’s a win win situation. (: Don’t be so strict though. Treat your body a lil. Eat things that make you happy, but in moderation.
7. Control your thinking.
I’ve come across a lot of sayings which emphasise that we’re in control of our own mind and thoughts. It is in our power to think what we want and let it affect us. Due to this, you have to master the art of controlling your thoughts. Train your mind to not think things which will make you unhappy. It is very difficult at first and even after you master it, you do trip sometimes. However, we’re human. We were given feet so we could trip. But we were also given hands to help us get up again. Think positive and you’ll attract positive energy (The Secret goes into full detail about this). Think pretty things and you’ll feel pretty on the outside and most importantly, on the inside.
Understand that flowers grow and then they die. However, whilst they’re alive, we marvel at their beauty and we intoxicate our lungs with their scents. We make sure to water them and give them as much sunlight as they need so they’ll last just that little while longer. And they bloom. They open up and their beauty springs forth. Do you see what happens when love and nourishment is given to any living organism? You are a living organism. You are living. So live but don’t live without loving yourself. Otherwise you’ll have trouble blooming.
I honestly hope I helped in one way or another. Everyone deserves peace of mind. Happy New Year. (: